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WINNER of KingDork contest!!! It's based on the song Millionaires by The Script!
Life is about the little moments that are made of gold, not the major ones that rust away with age.
over 2 years ago Corri Midulan said:
I really liked the picture you painted of the characters at the beginning of the story, but leaving the reader to envision their perception of who they were. The ending, I thought, was clever since for the entire piece until that point I had thought that it was about reckless and wealthy young people.This piece reminded me a bit of The Great Gatsby since it centered around carefree youth. Congrats on being featured.
over 2 years ago Garima Gupta said:
I really love your writing style. I can definitely see why you won. Congrats!
over 2 years ago Julia Tannenbaum said:
Hi, Katie-Marie. I really loved your story and the way the writing flowed. You have incredible talent. I was wondering if you'd take the time to check out my own story; A Cutter's Lullaby. If so, thank you so much. If not, all as well.
Keep up the great work. You'll go far w/ your writing.
over 2 years ago Rae C said:
I liked it, but like a lot of other people, I found that last line confusing. And I also found a few spots where you should have used a comma instead of a period. But other than that, great job! Good luck in the contest!
about 2 years ago Gretchin Bledsoe said:
This is very uniquely-written, and I like the song! I don't recall any major grammatical errors (not that it would do any good to you now :D). And congratulations on winning! Great job!
over 2 years ago B.C. Hernandez said:
I liked this story very much. I have never heard the song but your story made me look it up and I love it now!!! Great job, you had vivid descriptions without being too wordy which can be quite hard but you did it seamlessly. The only thing I would change is the last sentence, for me I usually make the last sentence the one with the most impact and I could tell you were trying to do that here but it didn't work very well. Maybe something like the line of the song that says "I swear you may think you're rich
You could have a million euro
But you can't buy this time" or something like that. Other than that awesome job!!!