Want to follow along with this writing? Sign up Today, it's free and easy
Approximately less than a minute to read
*KING DORK APPROXIMATELY contest winner* inspired by the song by yiruma
almost 2 years ago Cara said:
This is very beautiful. I like how you start speaking of the emotions, and then have that idea flow into all your other stanzas, showing "joy" and showing the crash, and then the change of path. It was very well-done.
about 2 years ago E. Anderson said:
There is a cool group called Poetry People that you should join.
over 2 years ago Brandi <3 said:
Very well written
If you want you can read anything you want that I have written and leave a comment on that so I can improve on the things that I do need to improve on as a writer
over 2 years ago Catherine Nevin said:
This piece is really good. I like your word choice, and the flow of the lines. Keep writing!
about 2 years ago Jules Larisch said:
This is for a review you asked for three months ago.
The last three stanzas are pretty good, but I'd say the first three need a lot of work. The images you're using are kind of the things that a lot of people think about when they think of rivers, maybe bring in tides, geological processes, etc. (Yes I know that sounds stupid for a poem but you can find a lot of inspiration through research, try erosion, rivers in the American West, those are some of the few clear ones.)Just some greater complexity like the latter part. And I definitely think that in the fourth stanza "intrigues" isn't the right word, "delights", "rhapsodizes" would work better. Nevertheless you're doing so many good things in this poem, I really like the idea of someone being like a (classical) element. It's also sweet, I imagined it as something that you'd give to someone for Prom (well, my friends would at least, and me too probably...)
over 2 years ago Nikhil Raj said:
Hi Vivina, I liked your poetry.It has the amalgamation of two genres:- first, it motivates you and second,it shows you your real worth. Keep writing dear, my best wishes are with you.Seriously, amazing job.