Up Came a Girl

Up Came a Girl

1 chapter / 109 words

Approximately half a minute to read

Description:

POEM || Reminiscent || COMPLETE


A poem about a girl growing up and how we change as we get older. (Previously called "Her")
Gorgeous cover by Darth Turbatus
This piece is copyright Irene Grey 2017. It may not be reproduced or copied without direct permission from me.

Genres:

Writing, Memoir, Poetry

Comments(8)

V1

5 months ago Colette [Rook] said:

Oh wow! This piece was incredible. This is so relevant to our time and just... just wow. You did a great job!

Aliceb5 (1)

6 months ago Coral Vaci said:

This poem has a really good meaning! The cover is great too. :D

Capture1

7 months ago Ysabelle Lianne said:

I like your cover, BTW...

Img_5636

9 months ago Emily Rose said:

I loved the line about adults and jobs being mist. I thought it tied in to the beginning of your poem about rain. Overall good flow and thought-provoking poem.

Reviews(3)

Screen shot 2017-05-31 at 10.40.01 pm

9 months ago Kaylee Herndon said:

I write comments as I go and then talk about the piece overall, I hope you find this helpful.

The repetition of ‘round’ struck me as a little awkward but I like how the rest of the first stanza flows. I really like the ending on the bed image, reminds me of me. I think the flow of the last two lines in the second to last stanza isn’t the same as the rest of the poem but it is not a major issue. Just shortening the lines by a word or something should fix that.

Overall I enjoyed it. The rhyming was constant and the flow was essentially there throughout the whole poem. It did show the aging of the girl in a direct way for the most part but not too direct where the poem would be boring. Keep Writing! Kaylee

17126728_390034851383009_5729406675450855424_n(1)

9 months ago Venus said:

-For our swap-

I honestly really enjoyed the idea of this poem. It was very well written and however short it was, it was emotionally touching. But I was a bit confused by the ending part. Maybe try some different wording to really get the point across that the young girl has aged significantly since the poem began. You could comment on the grayness of her hair, or wrinkles, or something along the lines of that.

Other than that, this is a wonderfully written poem and I did not find any spelling or grammatical mistakes. Keep up the good work!

Venus