Want to follow along with this writing? Sign up Today, it's free and easy
Approximately half a minute to read
This heartbroken poem is about the slow death of a now bittersweet relationship. Please tell me what you think! Photo credit goes to rzotara who uploaded this photo onto PhotoBucket.
almost 4 years ago Nara M. said:
Gorgeous poem. The flow and rhyme of it were spot on, and the emotion behind it was very clear
almost 6 years ago Angela C said:
the rhyme and rhthym was perfect. i enjoyed the emotion that was packed into this. really good job!
almost 6 years ago Fishies said:
Great poem. definately memorable!
almost 6 years ago Nicole Rose Hale said:
Wow, this is just.... Amazing. Its so very beautiful, so clean, so wonderful. the cadence is perfect; I love how the rhyming just fit's you know? So many rhyming poems just sound forced and silly. Yours is the total opposite.You managed to keep the tone entrancing and ominous. So awesome. Great job, keep writing&*)
almost 6 years ago Hannah Brook said:
Mr. Hudson, I love how the darkness could mean anything in life. Lies, horrible debts, murder, anything! This is a wonderful poem to think about. I love the rhythm of it! If you wrote a book on how to write poems, I can assure you, it would be sell over 1 million copies! If you weren't thinking about doing something like that, you should definitely have it be an example in somebody else's. Great work, don't stop writing, and HAVE FUN!
almost 6 years ago lauren verity said:
Very beautiful. The rhythm is consistent and the wording had just the right amount of repetition and symbolism to keep me feeling very impressed all the way through. This is by far the best poem I have read on figment yet.
One thing: I didn't really like the word choice of "rambled" in the line "Through the fires we had rambled" (i think that's right). Even if the fires were metaphorical fires, the two words just don't seem to click. Since a ramble is usually a walk taken for pleasure, the two lovers in this poem would have to be some serious masochists to enjoy rambling through fire (which I interpreted as fights). I know it's hard to find a rhyme with "ambled," but that is the final piece of this wonderful poem that would make it complete. (obviously my opinions, and you don't have to take them seriously!) :)