Want to follow along with this writing? Sign up Today, it's free and easy
Approximately 6 minutes to read
(**A winner of the Winter Writing Contest!**) A member of the Wild Hunt is hunting prey through the cold Canadian woods in effort to do her duty of cleansing the world of sinful mortal souls. Entry in the Winter Writing contest.
almost 2 years ago Ruby said:
Okay....one word: WOW. This is incredible. It's overflowing with vivid imagery and beautiful scenes. It was like I was watching this happen. At one point I shivered. This engulfed me immediately...I absolutely love this!!
almost 2 years ago Bookappisodes said:
This is excellent! I loved it!
almost 2 years ago Mick_Moose(offline) said:
This is a great story i love it so much!
almost 2 years ago Headintheclouds said:
I can see why this was a winner. You did such a wonderful job of putting us into the mind of the wolf, her thoughts, feelings etc. The descriptions are beautiful too.
about 2 years ago Izzie said:
Beautiful. I loved how you wrote with description and detail. You had me completely hooked at the end, and I wish that there were more of this story, all dramatic and cool.
It was a little scary at first, but them I got accustomed to it and understood it better. The only thing that I hope you can change is the story's length- hopefully longer- and please give more information about who this wolf is. I was a bit confused at first, but then, gradually, I got it. Good job!
about 2 years ago Brianna Fay said:
Oh. My. Goodness. I can't even handle myself right now this was so good. I really- more than anything- hope you win the winter contest. This deserves it. I just sat her, gaping at my screen, after I finished this. Wow. I'm not sure if I'll be able to function any longer in proper society.
My VERY FEW critiques include these:
"They had been after this (particular) group or (mortals)..." It took me a while to figure out why this sounded so weird to me, but I eventually realized the the pairing of the words particular and mortals was a bit funky. What I came up with (And I wish i could show you my notes. They makes more sense,) was if you removed particular from the sentence, it would sound better. It you were to, say, replace particular with something like specific, then the sentence would sound softer but you'd have to use words like "humans" or "people" instead of mortals. Judging by her harshness and continuously using the word mortals, I would pick the former.
"She was torn, though." okay this isn't a criticism. I just could help myself. This sentence was so beautiful that I actually felt the need to cry after reading it. It was PERFECT. In the perfect spot, perfectly simple, perfect conflict, and perfect EVERYTHING. (In the few seconds it took me to read that sentence I became your biggest fan.)
"The huntress finally decided to pimp some real speed into her legs." So this sentence is a wee bit off. I could switch the words finally and decided and change the word real into a more descriptive and heart stopping adjective.
At this point in the story I made sure to take note that I was on my toes. Somehow, you had complete control over my emotions the whole time I was reading this. My lord, you are quite an amazing author.