Keepers of the Island Book 1

Keepers of the Island Book 1

4 chapters / 2404 words

Approximately 12 minutes to read

Description:

Thanks to DJV for the cover! A young and orphaned girl with no memory of her past must struggle to survive in a world where orphans are hunted down and strange figures lurk in the darkness, while ultimately trying to uncover the secrets of her past.

Genres:

Adventure, Fantasy

Comments(15)

Dscn0976 (1)

over 2 years ago Kylee Raventos said:

This is for my side of the swap. If you haven't done your side yet, could you read either A Second Chance or The Hourglass Chronicles? Thanks! It's definitely a good start to an interesting story. I like the idea of a girl joining a circus and trying to fit in. There were a few grammar mistakes. One I can remember is: strait should be changed to straight in chapter 4. One part I had a question about was where she was auditioning for the circus and she was performing on the tight rope. She was really nervous and tested the strength of the rope like she'd never been on a tight rope before, then she was able to do flips, cartwheels, and jumps. Even if she wasn't good at them, it still takes a considerable amount of skill to be able to do those things while balancing on a tight rope. So where did she learn to do those things? Obviously, it wasn't her first time on a tight rope, so why was she so hesitant at the beginning of the audition? I liked the expanse of characters in this as well. I was a little confused about the two men who looked similar. I couldn't remember who was who. However, I was very intrigued by the reluctant tight roper who was wearing gloves. She seemed like an interesting character with a secret. Also, your main character needs a little backstory. It says in the description that she's an orphan, but it didn't mention that in the story. Over all, well done! This is a good beginning and could evolve into a very intriguing story.

Mutual weirdness

over 2 years ago Jessie R. H. said:

I love the way this story starts out with the character running away all dramatically and such. The names are amazing and as is your worrying style. I truly enjoyed it. Keep writing!

Seeking light

over 2 years ago Headintheclouds said:

Prologue:

I like the contrast between the cold outside to the small flame she's able to conjure. Also glad she was able to get away safely :)

Softball

over 2 years ago Sarah Wilson said:

This is really good. I'll definitely be reading more when you update. There are a few spelling errors, but that's something that can easily be fixed. Great job and can't wait to read more!

Reviews(2)

Image

over 2 years ago Tsunderella said:

I really liked how your description of Rose's situation in the prologue made me have some adrenalin and a feeling of tension.

However, I wish you could add more details about the world that we're in when reading this. Is it somewhere on Earth? Is it in a parallel universe? Tell us more about it.

Overall, good start.

Caldir

over 2 years ago Jasmine Lewis said:

The setting for this story is lovely and I really enjoyed the fantasy side of it. The characters were fun to get to know and I liked the main character a lot. As for edits I didn't see to many. Only that you may want to consider reading it aloud to clean up any choppy sentences or repeated words.

I also think that you should give this world a closer look. The reader knows nothing of the place so feel free to experiment and show the reader about the place. Add some more details, lengthen the chapters and use these opportunities for characterization and plot building. I really do think that this story has the potential to turn into something a lot of people would read with the ice powers and other aspects of it. With some time it would be awesome!

I do like it quite a bit as it is now, there were only a few rough spots and as a whole, it was quite enjoyable. The characters were lively, they did more then just tell the story. The things I've named as edits are all simple things which I feel you could work in smoothly and easily. This story was very cool and I enjoyed the read. Good work and keep writing! :)