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***WINNER of March Madness Round 1*** "You pierce my soul. I'm half agony--half hope." She holds on because it's the only thing she knows.
12 months ago Ciara Marez said:
WOW! That's all I can say! Just, wow!
almost 2 years ago Adam Schmal said:
The ending caught me in a way I didn't expect, this was amazing!
My eyes were glued from start to finish (:
Great writing, and the style fit it well!
Keep it up (:
almost 2 years ago Lucy Shifflett said:
"Oh" I said aloud at the final line.
That is how I can best descibe my reaction to this, as I did not see that coming. You certainly surprised me, well written, well done.
almost 2 years ago Holly Brooke said:
For a flash fiction, this is amazing!
over 1 year ago Hailey Perry said:
I love the way you set this piece up! It was absolutely ingenious! At first I had believed you were merely talking about a man of whom had dissapeared from your life, and who's leaving had really taken you aback... (Possibly because I have been in such a situation), but then you came out with such an unexpected ending (to me atleast). I hope you continue writing & I'd love to read more of your poems! Also, I am extremely sorry for your loss.
over 1 year ago Hannah Deatherage said:
Wow, what a great last line. The story sets you up to think it's the standard "girl is sad over sleazy boy who broke up with her" but the last line slams you with the truth of it all. I think it would be better with just a tad more detail, just to get us really involved in the love interest, and mourn with the narrator when we learn of his death -- really make us care about their relationship before you rip it away from us. That would make the tragedy a little more intense. But overall, great story, and perfect for flash fiction.