Trust

Trust

1 chapter / 233 words

Approximately 1 minute to read

Description:

My entry for March Matchup Round 1. Quote taken from Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.

Comments(9)

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almost 2 years ago Chris Simmons said:

A short but powerful piece! i have to say well done! Like really well done, i got the entire sense of a demon from about 2 paragraphs, and i have to say it was a cool read, well done and you've earned a follower.

Win_20150307_160436

almost 2 years ago Chris Simmons said:

A short but powerful piece! i have to say well done! Like really well done, i got the entire sense of a demon from about 2 paragraphs, and i have to say it was a cool read, well done and you've earned a follower.

Win_20150307_160436

almost 2 years ago Chris Simmons said:

A short but powerful piece! i have to say well done! Like really well done, i got the entire sense of a demon from about 2 paragraphs, and i have to say it was a cool read, well done and you've earned a follower.

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almost 2 years ago David Barry DeLozier said:

Nice! This has a really edgy tone and it suits your quote perfectly. The fallen angel, human souls stuff is clever. Look forward to reading more of your work.

Reviews(1)

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almost 2 years ago Grant Evan Nordine said:

I think your piece is a pretty solid rough draft. The trick to writing fantasy/supernatural stories is you want to offer something that hasn't been done before; or if it has, something that you do exceedlingly well. We've established that we're dealing with the Christian ideology of fallen angels, so what's something new you can add to that cannon or is there an element about that trope that you excel at? Think that kind of stuff over.

As an aside, there are enough grammar issues for them to be noticed. (Grammar issues don't equal bad writers, it just means you were so excited to write that your hands couldn't keep up with your brain ;) ) - Always have spaces after commas - The word "because" shouldn't start a sentence. You can usually preface it with a comma or a semi-colon. - Keep your tenses in mind, you switch between present and past a lot. Let your narrator stay in one frame of mind. (For example, if they decide to stay present tense "these humans drive themselves insane." If you stay in past tense, "these humans drove themselves insane.)

I think you've found something you love to write about it, so write about it as best you can! This is a great start. You can do it, keep finding new things!