1 chapter / 146 words

Approximately less than a minute to read


Leading me on.


Writing, Poetry


Brown haired blue eyed

12 months ago LeChevalierRoland said:

Simply put, I felt like that was rather appropriate. What I mean by this is that the way you wrote had a voice, a tone. It matched the situation well and made it seem more real. It is amazing that it only takes 146 words for you to explain such a complex scene.


over 1 year ago Emily Rose said:

The beginning is nice and slow then towards the end, it felt like you were rushing a little bit. But you know what, I liked that. It made the poem more raw and possibly life-like.


over 1 year ago Sarah Spradlin said:

I really like the rawness of this poem. Again, you're grappling with some pretty heavy, difficult emotions--and a pretty dark relationship. The flow wasn't all there in this one, but that may have been what you were going for just because it's such a shattering, segmented experience. Other than that, another thought provoking poem! Keep writing.



over 1 year ago Lin T. said:

The flow of the poem is good. The intensity is good. The emotions produced are great. This is a very good poem that made me feel and made my heart twist. You did a great job. Continue writing poetry!



11 months ago Nefarious Delirium said:

Hmm.... Such a poem to rage against all subjects of abuse... It was well written, I can say that, and you had some consistency and also fluctuations in tempo. Which I do really like. In specifically what fuctuate was how often you rhymed, and how spread apart it was. That was really relieving... I still need to see more constant rhymers make their special skill known.

As for the content... I saw it. I saw the entirety of the situation, the fact that I felt in her head, in her mind, wondering the same thing. Yet, at the same time, I also have no sympathy for her at some points. But that is a matter of perception and experience that varies between each individual. That experience guides them that opinion.

In my deduction really: This is a really good piece. I do not mean to offend if this somehow relates personally to someone. But, the idea and every second was clear. That is what guides a reader, to understand, to see, and to experience.


over 1 year ago graciela luna said:

Hey there, nice work with tackling the subject of abuse. Now what I'm going to say is constructive criticism. That being said, there isn't much I will critique. You did get to the point from the beginning. It was rough though, to get a feeling of what you were trying to get across. All I got was images. Until the end, which was my favorite part. That's when I got a feeling of knowing how you were trying to portray. I read the poem fast but I'll re-read again and see if I get anything new from it. Good job, keep it up.