The Man In The Suit

The Man In The Suit

1 chapter / 441 words

Approximately 2 minutes to read


In a small market in Tokyo, Japan, a lonely girl quickly becomes entwined with the fate of a man in a suit who seems to appear out of thin air.



over 1 year ago Josephine said:

That was amazing! I loved it, enjoyed it. But I think you want me to be a bit more specific than that. What I think is really important in short stories is creating characters that readers care about. I knew next to nothing about this man. I didn't know where he was born, what his occupation was, who his kids were. But you were able to make me care about him. You made him into this mystery that I wanted to solve just like the main character. I felt everything the MC felt about this man. If I were her I would probably walk after him too. You made it so believable. The descriptions were beautiful. I felt like I was there. This was well-crafted and gorgeously written. Loved it! :) Please keep writing.


over 1 year ago \(` ^ `)/ said:

Of most stories, I usually comment on the lack of details of what and where the story is taking place. But in this case, I actually felt satisfied reading the details of Tokyo.

One thing I do want to note is that you don't have to capitalize Sakura in sakura tree. Though it's a name, it's like sunflower. You don't capitalize the S in sunflower.

Curious as to why he decided to kill himself... then again, life is full of endless questions isn't it?

Happy Writing,

Cloud Dreamer


over 1 year ago Carla The Bookworm said:

I loved it! Why did he have to kill himself? That's my question. I could clearly picture everything that was happening. I love your choose of words, sounds so much better than anything I've written. Amazing work!



over 1 year ago Belle Auctor said:

This book was good. I liked it. Not really much to note about mistakes or anything like that. Very flawlessly written with good imagery that transports the reader into the story. Contains a little mystery and suspense that was wonderfully executed and leaves the reader on edge, wanting to read more. Enough obscurity to leave the reader to ponder and enough detail to give the reader the ability to be transported into what they were reading. Overall, great short story.



over 1 year ago Sushil said:

Oh! that was amazing... I don't think I can review it. I am less experienced. those set of description were brilliant.I wish i could write so. It was a moment more than a story, that needs to be expressed. I enjoyed reading.

I request you to go through mine 'Altered'


over 2 years ago Moses Lingle said:

Sorry i haven't been able to get back to you sooner, my friend. I don't currently have a working device. Anyway, about the story. Amazing suspense. it gripped me as i read it. Also, excellent grammar. One could hardly call this a critique, for i've found nothing to criticize. Kudos.