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Approximately 5 minutes to read
Julia never imagined that when she wished Mr. Darcy was real, it would come true.
I'm sorry if this may seem rushed. I have to fit the entire story into 1,000 words for the Off the Page contest, which is held until June. I will be adding much more, so hold on until then!
I also have recently changed the POV from third person to first person, because I think it makes it more intense. Let me know in your review/comment what you think of this!
about 1 year ago Haley Wingate said:
Haha, I love this so much!! Darcy is perfect.
over 1 year ago Amy May said:
Wow, I liked the ending. It seems sort of philosophical, in a way, about Mr. Darcy only being a page, yet being part of a story that is still prevalent after so many years. There are a few parts where the logic isn't so tightly woven, such as when the narrator says she just finished reading the book an hour ago, but she also just woke up. Otherwise, you kept the tone light and whimsical, and that was good. Overall great story. Keep it up!
over 1 year ago Lucy Marie said:
Haha this is cute! The part about the underwear made me laugh! Bless the 1800s gentlemen. This was a lovely little piece to read and I WANT MORE. Loved it.
over 1 year ago Cate Eliot said:
I like this a lot. This was actually my first thought--DARCY!--when I first read the contest. I like that you are able to include details that accurately reflect the imagery in the book. Most importantly, you've picked the best character to bring up from the inky pages. Other than a few grammatical error that could be fixed with a quick read through, I didn't find many errors. Be sure to break up your paragraphs and vary your syntax for maximum readability. Best of luck in the contest!
over 1 year ago Alena Parker said:
I'm just going to write thoughts down as I go, so please excuse the jumbled-ness.
Okay, sorry if this gets too specific to just me, but anyway, for your opening statement, I would change 'to open' to just 'opening'. It sounds less choppy and descriptive. Again, that's just me, so ignore this if you want. :)
Great mystery in the first chapter! Gets readers hooked.
"My head started spinning[no comma here] as I..."
Okay, so I'm a little confused here. To me it seems that if Mr. Darcy was so worried about her being okay, then he might not be with his back to her, but instead trying to nurse her back to health? Does that make sense?
I Love (!!) The scene where they see her underwear. Great spark of humor. :)
"I'm in a book?" GREAT!!!
Wow! What a twist at the end! I understand that this is for a contest with a word limit, but when it's over PLEASE expand on this. This holds a lot of promise for a novel, and is just fantabulous for a short story!! :)
over 1 year ago Megannah Eyre said:
OMG!! Both Megan and I adore the works of Jane Austen!
Anyways this piece was fantastic! I was blown away by your writing style and vocabulary. This is some really great publish worthy stuff here. I loved that you were consistent in writings the way it was during the Victorian Age. I love your characters and each scene was described perfectly! The only thing I will suggest is that you fix some of the grammatically incorrect sentences within the piece. Other then that this piece is good to go! Keep on writing! I want to know more!
-Meg and Hannah