The Blood of Angels

The Blood of Angels

11 chapters / 7675 words

Approximately 38 minutes to read

Description:

OKAY FOR SWAPS Chapter five has been put up :)

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[Book 1 of the Angels Series, a work in progress that's constantly being worked on]
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The cover came from http://mozolewskimichal.deviantart.com/

Comments(32)

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over 1 year ago Kelvia-Lee Johnson said:

It's been a while since I've been here. I can't wait to get back into this book! :)

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almost 2 years ago Shannon said:

I greatly enjoyed the mood of the first chapter. The level of seriousness as well as mystery was a fantastic way to introduce to reader to the story.

Athena

about 2 years ago carlie stanco said:

Such a great story! I'm sorry I didn't comment before. Keep up the great work:)

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about 2 years ago Carmen Baker said:

I want to start out by saying thank you for the amazing comment you left on my story! It really means a lot.

I read the first chapter and it was so good. You laid out so many mysteries and I have so many questions. There wasn't much dialogue in this chapter, but that just made it seem all the more serious. I'm looking forward to reading the rest and finding out who all of these characters are and what they are up to!

Reviews(27)

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almost 2 years ago Laura Marie said:

PROLOGUE What the town lacked in architectural splendor[,] it made up for in its efficiency. Just addition of a comma, I felt like it needed a pause there.

The town was not a tourist spot. [It was far from being one], seeing as the tour guides expertly skirted around,… Rather than saying ‘the town’ twice because it sounded unnecessarily repetitive.

She’d list [the constellations] off as she spotted them, mouthing them and connecting [the] dots. Instead of them, use constellations or something more descriptive. Adding ‘the’ is just an idea!

Silence was crucial in much of their life, and even when it wasn’t[,] it had become a second nature. Just the addition of another comma.

ONE …an inky oblivion. Just want to say this is an awesome way to describe the scene! Great visual.

Overall found nothing I wanted to add. But I do have to say there were a lot of comments on how great the visual is. You truly did your research on weaponry apparently.

TWO First sentence: probably one of the best I’ve read here on figment. Even though it’s the second chapter in (third, if you include the prologue), it brings the reader in. For me in particular, I just kind of get really excited.

Jess heard Cassidy shout out[:] “Masks!” Addition of a colon.

I was a little bit confused with the amount of names thrown in. I kept track of mostly Jess and Emiko. I think it was the part where you threw in the words ‘brother’ or ‘sibling’ that I just had to re-read to figure out the relations of the characters.

When you say, ‘Anywhere from Boston to Bangladesh’, if your trying to represent that there were a lot of ethnicities you should do something like A[ustralia] to Z[ambodia]. It’s cliche but I think it’d be more representative. Unless using just the ‘B’ places was done on purpose.

Although you wrote a terrible series of scenes, I think it was amazing at how much we learn about Jess. It’s more than just necessary, because clearly we, as the readers, need to know why she behaves the way she does in further chapters. Great work so far!

I’ll continue reading on and updating you on my thoughts later on, I hoped all of this helped you so far :)

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about 2 years ago Bren M said:

What a compelling story! You paint such vivid pictures with your writing which can be such a hard thing to do. The paragraphs flow effortlessly throughout. I read to chapter one and can't wait to read more.