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Approximately 12 minutes to read
This is my entry for the #DysfunctionalFamily contest. It's about a girl named Lizzy who was adopted by a paranormal family called the Turnwaters. Together, the family struggles to find balance within their chaotic lives. Enjoy!
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over 1 year ago glitter said:
over 1 year ago Soska Socks said:
Nice! Your entry has a pleasant "feel-good" ending which I really enjoyed, and you portray the main character's resent and the conflict between her and her family members very well. The only comment I have to make is that you keep referring to your main character, Lizzy, as "the girl". After you introduce the name of your main character, you should refer to her as "she" or "her" or by her name "Lizzy" and not "the girl". Calling her "the girl" is a little confusing ( because the reader might assume that you are introducing a new girl, a new character who's name they don't know ) and little bit more clunky than it needs to be. Other than that, good job, keep writing : )