Algoroth

Algoroth

3 chapters / 1179 words

Approximately 6 minutes to read

Description:

CURRENT WIP (Cover credit goes to Natasha)
NOTICE: CURRENTLY UNDER REVISION
Algoroth is changing - The time for peace has passed. War is rising. Secrets that were not meant to be discovered are brought to light. Ancient evils are stirring. Blood is spilled. And a truth dawns as the dragons of Algoroth realize that peace cannot last forever.

Comments(3)

Prof

about 1 year ago Lily Chen said:

This is a very interesting concept and you did a good job of explaining the backstory with the unicorns and dragons. I also think it was clever of you to make the unicorns the "bad guys" since they're usually symbols of purity and kindness. I wish you the best of luck in continuing this novel. Happy writing!

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about 1 year ago Emilie Graye said:

Please continue!!

Theoneandonly

over 1 year ago Lee Ryder said:

This was a very interesting read, and really like where this story line is going. I like how in this story the dragons are the "good guys" and the unicorns are the "bad guys". Normally it is the other way around so this change was very nice. I think some of your details are a bit cliche though (long deadly fangs as an example). This wouldn't really bother me except you have some really AWESOME phrases in other places of the story (I loved the part where the Roc was talking about the horn, hair or hoof). You have a really nice writing voice, but I think you lean on phrases that many other writers use. Overall: I enjoyed this. I even read all of the chapters because I wanted to know what those pesky unicorns were up to. Keep writing!

Reviews(6)

Sunrise

about 1 year ago Sophia Edwards said:

***I write my review as I edit, so my notes follow the flow of the piece. These are my opinions, so don't feel obligated to change anything that I mention.****

PROLOGUE

Maybe use "loosened" or "released" as opposed to "loosed"

"Suddenly[,]...

Wait what just happened? Why did he feel ice in his chest? Is there a lot of ice there?

(I get that it's a prologue, but could you describe the scene/area a bit more?)

CHAPTER ONE

"...conversation, and this [-] combined with his cramped muscles and aching wings [-]..." You need the separation because the way I read it made it all connect. This left me confused and I had to re-read to realize its supposed to be separated.

Love that there are other magical creatures.

LOVE THAT YOU USE THE MOON AS THE CALENDAR (AKA MONTHS)

If Screeok knows the name of the blue dragonness, I feel like he should say it when he's describing her. It isn't a surprise. Since he's the MC everything he knows, we should know.

I don't feel like the other dragons would be surprised Screeok has more news. Or so surprised they'd react. I feel like they'd be interested, wanting more information and earnest. Not shocked.

I also don't feel like they'd gasp. They'd react for sure, but more with confusion rather than fear. Gasping implies fear.

Loved the description of the lake.

The unicorns are the bad guys! That's a twist between what we've grown up seeing. I would love to see their bloodthirsty battles, using their horns as arrows and spears. That would be a sight.

Damn. How powerful are these unicorns that they could basically enslave TWO noble races. And why haven't they taken over before?

I wish you would describe his house a little more and where it's situated based on where the meeting was. Is he in the country? Just outside the city? Where was the meeting?

Overall, I think this is a great story and start. I'm really interested in the premise and want to know about this magical world and ancient feud between beasts. Really great start :)

Never Stop writing :)

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about 1 year ago CourtsMiKay said:

I absolutely love this. I'm a lover of dragons so I was immediately thrilled at the idea of reading this piece.

Your preface was incredible. It did a great job of setting up the story and capturing my attention. Hook, line, and sinker. The preface was easy to follow along to and set the mood for the next chapter(s) perfectly.

The next chapter was just as enthralling and beautiful. I loved the descriptions you gave for the dragons and the dialogue flowed gracefully throughout the chapter. I love the way your story is progressing and I can't wait to read more!