I sold my soul to the Devil

I sold my soul to the Devil

5 chapters / 2134 words

Approximately 11 minutes to read

Description:

19 year-old Luke was having fun with his friends, but then one of his friends starts shooting Luke. Luke blacks out, he suddenly wakes up and sees a man standing in front of him. He doesn't realize who the man is until he looks into the mans eyes. The Devil held out a contract that is saying if he signs it then he will live again. But what he doesn't know is that he sold his soul to the Devil. No soul no death. Luke is trying to track down his so called "friends" one by one and makes them pay for what they did to him. Will Luke kill his friends he once knew?

Genres:

Action, Horror, Serial

Comments(3)

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5 months ago DanaBaylee said:

I really love the idea eventough this is not really original clínicas de micropigmentação capilar

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7 months ago MaxVor said:

Thank you! All well-written and interesting. I look forward to exciting new blog! ShowBox

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over 1 year ago Delilah Moore said:

WRITE MORE WOMAN!!!! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS!!!

Reviews(4)

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about 1 year ago Zoey NB said:

I read the description and really like the idea. The whole "sold my soul to the devil" thing is a little overplayed, but I'm excited to see what you do with it.

Now, a few comments. All of these are meant to be purely helpful, not harsh or anything, so please know that.

At the beginning, you should make it more clear that he is talking to his friend over the phone. The phone rings, but you don't really describe him picking it up.

Describe the characters more. Who is this Mike? What is his relationship to Luke? This girl on the couch, his girlfriend, describe them as people, not just background characters.

Give more buildup. Move everything slower. He wakes up. Describe where he is. Describe how he feels. The phone rings. What is his reaction? What is he thinking? Don't be afraid to prolong the story in order to fully describe everything.

Overall, I think that you have a good thing going. With some work, it's going to be a great story. Keep writing!

Trippy-skull-background

over 1 year ago Daniel Mathers said:

Dialogue is a bit off. Needs more detail, the progression jumps from event to event a bit too fast. It should go into what he does remember. The girl on the couch should be more detailed. Much more character development for the three characters already presented. Doesn't say what his job is. Doesn't say who the "gang" is or why it would be ok for them to show up at his job. Needs work especially for an intro.

Overall it wasn't boring and it caught my interest so I'll say good job but it needs alot of work if this is to be a full story.

I actually just wrote an extended poem called "How a Devil is Made" and encourage you to read it.

Sorry for the harsh review, but it's better than everyone saying it doesn't need editing. Keep writing and reworking and you'll make it better and the dialogue more realistic.

Good job, hope to hear back on one of my stories, feel free to be harsh.