1 chapter / 196 words

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>>Not sure about the title; tell me if you have any thoughts<< People see poetry as something in black words on white paper, connected with the world. That way, it fills egos and breaks hearts. But I think there's also a type of poetry in our breathing and movement and everywhere.


Writing, Poetry


Jp 1

almost 2 years ago Jada Pilate said:

I like this a lot. It has a very deep meaning and you get your point across very well. :) Good job!


almost 2 years ago beatriz87 said:

You have a beautiful way with words. I love the emotions poured into this piece; they can rival any brooding person who thinks their life is far more tragic than others', those who write poetry just so others can see them making art, which is cheap and hollow. You have stunned me with your words, and imagine, those are just your words! I can only imagine what the rest of your thoughts look like, what goes on in your head and what is probably screaming to be released. Don't ever stop writing, because if you did that would be like denying a gift God gave you... Awesome job :)


almost 2 years ago Ray Carty said:

i just love this. This is poetry, amazing poetry. Lol.

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almost 2 years ago Naomi Folettia said:

Poetry in the Air or In the Air are my suggested titles :)

"masters of rhyme, counters of rhythm" and the last chunk, stanza? where you talk about muscles creaking and the poetry being in the soft air was a very interesting take on poetry. I really liked it and I would agree to it. There IS poetry in the air :)

Keep up the great writing :)



almost 2 years ago Tonia Christou said:

Honestly the feeling that your piece gave me made me picture myself at my computer (I don't use a typewriter :P) brainstorming about a poem. Fantastic job!

Clara oswald 8

almost 2 years ago Wendy Starling said:

So this is for our swap. Sorry I didn't get around to it sooner. I either forgot about it or was never aware in the first place xD To make up for it, I've given you an extra-long review :P -

I like how you choose a typewriter. It's kind of like a computer, but it maintains the quaint feel that you get from ink and paper and doesn't spoil the inspiring mood.

"criticising, praising, or envying mouths" - nice parallel structure :)

"let others decide whether your heart bleeds//or puffs and is bolstered//until unrecognizable with vanity" - I'm not quite sure I understand this…

"Poetry is made of black words on white paper" nice :)

I'm not sure the "of course" in the 3rd stanza really adds anything to it, but it's not a big deal

"vital growing hair" just doesn't sound that great to me…it also doesn't seem that relevant to poetry. The nails makes sense, because it's kind of like another way of saying something is flowing from your fingertips, but what does hair have to do with it? Is it like ideas flowing out of your mind/brain/head? If so, that makes enough sense that you probably don't need to concern yourself about changin it.

"maybe every time a muscle tenses//or a joint creaks" - I love this line. It just paints a very nice image of sorts, and "tense" and "creak" just seem like excellent verbs. :)

I like how the last two lines sort of rhyme. My favorite way to end poetry is to make it rhyme, because that just seems nice and final :)


Your poem was very free verse. The stanzas varied in number of lines, the lines varied in rhythm and rhyme. This added nicely to the feel of the poem, and even just to how some people write poems--just sitting down in front of a typewriter ;) and writing whatever comes to mind.

The formatting was interesting, and the lack of capitilization added to the feel as well. It kind of stressed the somewhat rebellious nature of poems--the way you can ignore grammar rules and stuff :) Good job!