I Kind of Lost My Time Machine

I Kind of Lost My Time Machine

1 chapter / 974 words

Approximately 5 minutes to read


{WINNER of Round 1, March Matchup 2016.} Terry-Lynn is a steampunk time traveler and loses her time machine on the first try. I want to give special thanks to my sister, Kylah, for giving me inspiration for this story.



over 1 year ago Floret Ca said:

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over 1 year ago Amanda Marchan said:

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over 1 year ago Jaylee Morgan said:

I enjoyed this story! Poor Terry, losing her phone/time travel device and then getting left behind! I think it flowed together well, although I do believe that there was too much actions that happened to fast. Her grandfather and her walked around, but what happened on the walk? Romia takes her grandfather to the future...but he doesn't seem shocked? I understand that you are on a word count limit. But if you ever decide to make this a bigger story (which I definitely think you should!) I would work on those things a little. :D

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almost 2 years ago S. Welch said:

Very entertaining read. I was hooked from the very beginning. You have some fantastic original ideas and a pretty good cadence throughout. I know the requirement is 1000 or less but the events did seem a little too jam packed into the little space given. There was a lot going on too quickly. Perhaps lessen the dialogue? A lot of the initial dialogue is reiterated. It's almost unnecessary. I, as the reader, already know what's going on. There is no need to repeat it. By lessening the dialogue, you'll have more room to detail the rest of the piece. Otherwise, I really enjoyed this story.