Breathless

Breathless

20 chapters / 13551 words

Approximately about 1 hour to read

Description:

She needed to be home. She needed to be in the water, because no matter where she might be her home was in the water. In the water she felt safe. She was alone and didn't have to worry about hello's or goodbyes; in the water Kevin was far from her mind. In the water there was no death, only her and the stopwatch.

Genres:

Writing, Drama, Sports

Comments(26)

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almost 4 years ago Maya Friedrich said:

Hey! Loved the book, I just started a novel called "Beneath the Surface" -it also has a swimming theme to it so you might like that

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almost 5 years ago c said:

Hearted! If you would like to swap please read/heart my story “Ella and Sam were here.” Thanks!

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over 5 years ago Katie ZaBAM said:

Hey! I read the first few chapters and so far I'm really enjoyed this. You have a great plot and you executed it well, and I could feel a lot of emotion surrounding the story. I would suggest varying your sentence structure a little; it seemed to become a little repetitive at times when you kept starting out with 'she' this and 'she' that, but otherwise this is very good. Great work so far, and keep on writing!

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over 5 years ago Maggie R said:

So when I started reading this I had planned to read 1-2 chapters and I ended up reading 5. You really have a way of holding the readers interest and I loved the tension you have. I wrote a story like this once a few years ago (Although it wasn't nearly as good) so it reminded me of that. I felt like I could really understand the character's motivations for doing what she did. I also liked the way you held back on telling us how the boyfriend died and what had happened two months before that to create suspence. Anyway really awesome job!

Reviews(4)

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about 6 years ago Michelle Cuthbert said:

I love this story. The only issue I had was that you kept changing tenses and your grammar needs some work, but otherwise, it's amazing. Please post another chapter! :)

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over 6 years ago Remarkable Eccentric said:

You have some raw talent, though I would recommend using a program with a simple spelling and grammar checker; or getting a beta. But it's still quite good, I enjoyed it.