Natalie Dunning

My Writings

  • Value of innocc
    • 25
    • 9

    The Value of Innocence

    © Natalie Dunning 2014. <i>Cover by me.</i> <h1> Work in Progress </h1><br> <b>Warning:</b> Contains harsh swearing and some violenc…

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  • Desolate ok
    • 18
    • 7

    Desolate

    © Natalie Dunning 2013. <i>Cover by me.</i> <br><i>What can you do when it's all you know?</i></br> <br>An attempt at the best descr…

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  • Iniquitous oo
    • 0
    • 0

    Iniquitous

    © Natalie Dunning 2014. <i>Cover by me.</i> <br>A short story I wrote for English class. The prompt was to make a story, given only t…

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  • Life flower pink
    • 25
    • 7

    Life

    © Natalie Dunning 2012. <i>Cover by me.</i>

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  • Achluophobia3
    • 7
    • 4

    Achluophobia

    © Natalie Dunning 2013. <i>Cover by me.</i> <br><i>Winner of the phobia contest.</i></br>

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  • Antireverie thing
    • 2
    • 1

    Antireverie

    © Natalie Dunning 2015. <i>Cover by me.</i> <br>A poem I wrote for my Writers Craft course. The prompt was to choose ten "beautiful" …

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Talk to me!

Excitedsun

1 day ago Mickey Mouse said:

Did you think the kidnapping scene was too silly? I wouldn't say it was silly. I think it fit the impulsiveness of the character. Not every crime is committed by a mastermind.

What's one way that you think I could improve? Less filler. Take out anything that doesn't relate to the story.

Do you think my characters are realistic? Allison is realistic. Jared's pretty out there, but he obviously has a mental condition. Jared's friend Thomas was a little hard to believe though. He seems like a man of normal intelligence, but then he just accepts that he's going to help kidnap a teenage girl for a friend he hasn't seen in years. Supposedly Jared has some dirt on him, but who would believe a crazy ex con over Thomas?

Also, the dream scene is supposed to be kind of a foreshadowing thing, but do you think that's too cliche or cheesy? I was considering taking it out but I'm not sure. I thought it was pretty cheesy. I think you should either take it out or just briefly describe the major events of the dream as she's getting ready in the morning.

Capture

2 days ago Struggle_of_a_writer said:

You can read any amount of Prototype R.

Fullsizerender

2 days ago Mariella Baird said:

Dear Ms. Natalie Dunning

I am pleased to inform you that your application to the Silver Society has been accepted. Your current rank is initiate. If you have any questions please let me know on my wall or in the discussions in the group. Congratulations and I look forward to working with you.

Well regards, Ms. Mariella Baird

Moxxi

3 days ago Moxxi Deluta said:

Thanks! I'm working on something, so you won't be waiting in vain :)

Yeah the Siren must be my favorite too. She's just the most versatile and practical one for my kind of game play. Tiny Tina is awesome too, it's possible they will make her playable in the launch of the new Borderlands game!

1rogow

3 days ago Janessa Wilson said:

You're welcome !

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My Reviews

The Heartbreak Hotel

(4 months ago)

This is a really interesting story. I like that it's a simplistic idea and story line so far, but you've written in it a way that's kept ... Read More »

One Last Smoke

(8 months ago)

<br>Wow. I've only read the prologue and already you've developed this narrator so much. Already, the reader can relate and care for this... Read More »