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Theia

about 6 hours ago Cynthia Silver☾✯ said:

Ooh, sounds fun! Garden wedding? Is that just like a wedding in a garden? Aww, too bad it didn’t work out. Sometimes technology can be unnecessarily complicated. Like today, I was trying to crop a picture, except it literally took me half an hour to do it because I couldn’t edit the picture, so I had make like a billion copies and send it through so many different programs until one finally allowed me to crop it, when really it would’ve been so much easier if I could’ve JUST CROPPED THE ORIGINAL FROM THE WEBSITE TO BEGIN WITH. Lol, no worries; I don’t always have to be the one sharing, you know. :)

Yeah… on a class that is sooo beneath me, which is mainly why I’m fuming. Like, this class has done NOTHING for me, and I’ve already pushed as far as I dare in trying to get this stupid lazy-ass teacher to actually HELP me in my writing, but I’m getting nothing! And it’s too late to quit now. Ugh, I’ll just cut my rant there before it turns into something super long. Anyways, yeah, the fire was a metaphor for Lyt, and yeah, I extended upon it by describing the different types of fire other people encountered. It’s from Tes’s POV because I plan to actually use this in SoV somewhere in the future. “Man” was capitalized because it was talking about “mankind”, like, as a species. And “Death” because he was talking about the figurative personification of death, like the god of death.

Yeah, that’s what Courtney also told me, but I thought it was clear that even though I never mentioned the specific person I was talking about, it didn’t really matter since the metaphor was “*this person* is fire.” And I made it very clear that I was talking about a person. Yeah, I’m thinking I probably should, just for validation. I mean, this was written more for you guys who actually read my novel to begin with, not that stupid CW teacher, so if it doesn’t make sense to him, I don’t care, because that was never my intention. My intention was to write an extended metaphor for Lyt. But I’ll ask other people who haven’t read my story, like, “Yo, is this a metaphor or not?”

Yeah, we can always correct assignments because he takes ages to grade them, so it’s his way of compensating. (also because this is his first year doing the class, so he’s a complete noob at it, so he’s more lenient). I’ll correct it if I have to, but ONLY if. My pride will not tolerate it otherwise, because goddammit IT IS A METAPHOR STUPID CW TEACHER WHO LACKS IMAGINATION AND COULDN’T WRITE A COMPELLING STORY IF HE HAD ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO DO SO.

To elaborate on that, he made us read and edit one of his short stories he wrote in high school, and in it, I detected the exact same problem as was in his first published novel; the characters were drab, boring, unoriginal, unimaginative, and uncompelling. I hated doing that, so I literally just skim read the entire thing. It was sooo boring. I mean, he had a cool idea (about this kid who can walk in dreams), but ugh, the protagonist was such a bore. And there were so many simple mistakes, I was just like, “I’m done. I could write better than you when I was in freaking seventh grade. Alison (another published author friend of my dad’s) was right; you ARE no writer.” (that last comment was the worst insult I could think of) But I may be biased. That’s what my dad keeps saying, but while I may be exaggerating, I know I’m right about some points, because I went through that with my reviewer’s mind, not the pissed-off-student mind.

Anyways, no, I didn’t mention Lyt’s name because I thought that keeping the person’s identity hidden would make it stronger than if I tied those attributes to a specific person. Plus, if it’s Tes’s POV, then it’s already clear who he’s talking about, and I didn’t want a name to break the metaphor.

Oh, I get it. Thanks for explaining that. XD

The rest is pretty straightforward/close-ended, so I’ll just skip to the next comment:

Okay… but odds are, Suzanne Collins (THG’s author) is not part of the minority who watches anime, much less the even smaller percentage of those who have seen THAT anime, so the idea was still her own, and hers was the one to mainstream that sub-genre. Yep, basically. Well, yeah, the POV did have restrictions, but I’m pretty sure in the movies, they took more liberty with that and did show us a few scenes that didn’t include Katniss. In the books, the limitations were fine because Katniss was still doing a lot, though maybe not everything. Okay, I see your point, but that didn’t bother me as much since I’m okay with not having the protagonist in every single scene doing every single thing. The movies did make it a little ridiculous and anticlimactic, though, I’ll give you that.

Really? I thought it was clever, the statement Collins was making in having this world that is literally dystopian United States have something almost like reality TV taken to the extreme. Just like, “This could literally be our country if we get bad enough.” I mean, I don’t watch reality TV, but I’ve heard that they get pretty disturbing, so for me, this was like that taken to the extreme. Plus, it was also kinda like a futuristic take on the story of the Minotaur, which she said was actually a big inspiration for THG, which is cool. Haha, okay, I’ll add it to my list… which I should write down because I’ve literally forgotten all the stuff on it lol… but it might be a while… I must figure out a way to retrieve my soul that I sold to Hidekaz Himaruya when I started Hetalia. XD

Ah, okay. I figured it’d be something like that. I thought about getting a drawing tablet, but they’re so expensive! At least the good ones are. Plus, I imagine drawing with a tablet is harder than just paper and pencil. Then again, I’ve never really given it a chance, and I’m already aware of the advantages it has. Well, I’m finally getting through the learning curve of using the artist-grade colored pencils I got for my birthday… finally. Of course, in doing so, I royally messed up on one of Phil’s eyes. (sigh) The first one went so well, but in my attempts to get the other one as good, I screwed it up for good. At least I can always attempt to edit it on the computer, lol.

Yeah… but Jews have had a hard time like anywhere they go, so I kinda pity them. Not sure what you’re going at, but I don’t discriminate.

Wow. XD I’ll just try to remember seven, lol. That shouldn’t be too hard. And of course, I’ll remember two, because in Hetalia, whenever Germany is training the Axis, he does a roll call, and Italy always yells “Uno!” (which is the same as one in Spanish and threw me off before I remembered that Italian and Spanish are supposedly similar) with Japan following up with “Ni.” And yeah, I noticed the switched sentence structure a few times when comparing the lyrics of the ending songs. For example, “I am Austria” in English was “Osutoria desu.” But then I became confused when other countries were singing like “Boku Hetalia” or “Ore Igirisu”, which also translated to “I am so-and-so”...? Thus, my expedition to figure out how that worked continued… and then promptly ended when I couldn’t make sense of “desu.” The boku vs. ore was actually pretty straightforward. Haha, I tried using a dictionary for Spanish one time in like fourth grade, but it was so bad and just didn’t work with all the verb conjugations. And believe it or not, my current Spanish teacher prohibits dictionary or translator usage and insist we ask him every time.

Yeah, the reviews are in Figment, but I copied them over to a Google Docs that was in the next tab, which I do a lot. Example, right now, I’m actually writing this on a Google Docs sheet and switching between pages to figure out what to respond to next. When I’m done, I’ll just copy it over onto a Figment comment. I do this because I’m tired of losing comments and reviews on Figment when it loses connection or I click outside of the box or whatever. Oh, btw, no rush or anything, but you still haven't replied to my reply to your review.

Red

about 12 hours ago Red said:

Your friend put it much better than I could.

Everyone was pre occupied with fighting robots, so...

I remember watching kingsman. It was fine the way they did it. It's supposed to be full blown mindless action movie that you shouldn't think too deeply about. It's characters aren't supposed to be well developed and all that. Kaito on the other hand...I don't believe you want him to be like one of those mindlessly violent characters.

Lol, stabbing me in the back eh?

For one thing, when my characters did it, it was established that they were remorseless villains who killed for pleasure...well, except for Ravera's killing spree, and you would indeed have a point there. I did make Treppy's death too violent...which is why I am gonna scrap him off entirely in the new book.

Again, it's not the fact that you made it violent that bothered me, it bothers me that Kaito was doing all that. Remember me loving the chap when you introduced Victor? It was established that he loved being a sadist and that he didn't give a damn for human lives.

Red

about 13 hours ago Red said:

Okay then, in response to your comments.

Chapter 28:

Hmm...I'd advise you to switch to some other way of torture. This just seems needlessly erotic. Just my observation.

Mmm...physically and psychologically torturing him till he breaks...he suffered more physical pain at that AIB joint in terms of torture. And the psychological torture...again as mentioned before, Kaito remembering how he actually attacked everyone is much worse(and thus more gripping) than just saying "Oooh, you MIGHT attack your friends in the future."

Wot? Victor didn't know what happened with Martin? That seems out of character for that sadist. Victor probably did know what Martin was planning with Kaito and would have wanted to have a front row seat to view the supposed slaughter fest.

Victor didn't know that his friends would come along? What else would he think when he realized that Kaito had escaped the AIB with a handful of other Elementals?

Chapter 29:

Precisely, they do make the perfect camoflauge unit...which just makes it all the more awkward, when you realize that Victor predicted that Kaito would visit that place and went through all the trouble of kidnapping himself and waiting for Kaito to find him...and not prepare for his friends. Lack of hindsight is troubling.

The main gripe I had with this chapter was Kaito killing people and the whole thing being treated lightly. If Kaito was alone or if the other kids were not cheering for him, I would have just breezed past through this.

So what if the terrorists were left alive? The good guys usually keep them tied up somewhere or immobilize them after knocking them unconscious. Again I wouldn't have such a problem with this if Kaito's actions were seen for what they were-the cold blooded act of a remorseless killer and not a exhibition.

You know what else would make a woman's heart beat rapidly? Seeing a man with a cleaver about to chop her head off. Comedy and danger should be spaced out with some gap between them. To be more specific, comedy should be used to lighten a tense mood after a dangerous situation and not DURING it.

Nope, still doesn't work. Innocent people can still take up arms in self defense...and Patricia can't read that many minds at the same mind and process exactly who's innocent and who's guilty.

Even if those people were guilty, it still stands to reason that those people can't kill Kaito...while Kaito can kill them easily.

Will reply to the next two chaps later.

Red

6 days ago Red said:

Okay, I was a bit too harsh in my last review. It just irked me to see Kaito killing so many people and then pretending to act like a superhero.

Red

6 days ago Red said:

I am so sorry. I accidentally pressed the submit review button before actually typing anything.

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